Friday, February 18, 2011

The Grand Illusion

My dearly beloved posted this Styx lyric as his facebook status this morning, and I have a feeling that it's in response to a brief chat that we had this morning: "...if you think your life is complete confusion because you never win the game. Just remember that it's a Grand Illusion, and deep inside we're all the same." I know that this is his way of acknowledging that, like my mother's mantra, things are never the way they seem. I know this. My heart knows this. My head acknowledges this. It doesn't keep my imagination from wandering a bit and wondering what it might be like to be inside someone else's skin sometimes.

Truly, I am not complaining. I know that I am blessed. I know that I am so very fortunate in so very many ways. I also know that we have worked DAMNED HARD to create our fortune (no, I'm not talking about actual money), and that we have been lucky to have the support and love of our families. But, I'm tired. And I'm angry. And I'm sad. And I'm angry. And I'm frustrated. I don't even know why I'm so angry. I guess I thought that things would be different. Despite the fact that my heart knows that this is how life goes, my head is imagining something...different. So, it's good to remind myself that everyone is dealing with something. And, that which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. There's just a lot of stuff out there that can kill us, though.

If this whole deal has become frustratingly vague, I apologize. I've been mulling over a "bare all" post, and have a feeling that it's coming. I just don't think that I'm ready yet.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry you're feeling so angry. Feel better soon! I have a feeling looking into the eyes of your sweet little man will make you feel better in a hurry.