Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Becoming Stronger

You know that old saying, "That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger?" Well, I think that I am becoming stronger. I hope. Maybe.

The past couple of weeks [months] have been a serious shake-up in our routine, and we seem to be readjusting at least functionally, if not well. Max and Jackie returned to NH on Easter with a truck full of stuff, a car on a trailer, and hopes of establishing their adult lives closer to their families. We unpacked them and made a half-hearted attempt at moving some of our stuff the next day with their truck. The big push to get us out of our condo came the following Wednesday, and we've been sleeping at the house since then. It's a mess (that would be an understatement, actually), and we've still got stuff at the condo, but we're getting there. We get closer every day.

What's this, you say? We moved? Why, yes! Wait, you did that just weeks after your dad died? Why, yes! And, you moved into the house that your parents have lived in for the past 20 years (and your mother is still living in)? Why, yes! With all of the crap that you've been collecting for the past 10 years of married life? Why, yes! And, all of the crap that has accumulated for the past 40 years of your parents' lives? Why, yes! And, the crap that's left over from your grandmother who moved 70 years of life in Chicago into the house? Why, yes! Does this sound like a lot of crap? Why, yes! Oh, and your brother moved back to NH after being in OK for the past 6 years? Why, yes! And, we're thrilled to have him and Jackie back, too. And, Joseph had to change day care providers (didn't mention that one, did I?) as soon as we all got back from Cleveland? Why, yes! And, when people told you that the grieving process was going to be harder than you imagined, you thought that you'd make it more difficult by tossing in a move, too? Why, yes! Does that sound like it might be a teensy bit much for one small group of people to handle all at one time? Why, YES!

So, we're becoming stronger. I hope. I think. Maybe. I, personally, am just trying not to do permanent emotional damage to The Boy as we all jockey for position in our new arrangement and determine what our new roles and responsibilities will be. I'd like to stay married, too. That'd be ok. There has been a lot of whining, crying, and yelling. And Joseph has been upset too. We'll get there. I hope. I think. Maybe. Wherever 'there' is...